My world is becoming more and more shaped around God. I think I like this. I think I love Him.
I feel amazing, almost happy. Today I stumbled across something really sad.. This beautiful, talented, down to earth, God-worshipping boy has cancer. Who woulda guessed such a awesome person would get such a NOT awesome disease. This has really just been on my mind all day. I prayed a lot. Hour after hour- each time I was reminded of this tragedy. I've even considered taking all my mooney out of my bank and giving it to his family if that would save him. Some peoples' lives just seem so much more valuable, ya know?
On friday I experienced something like a youth group AT A CHRISTMAS party. I LOVED IT!
I enjoy "deep conversations" ( i NEEd to find a better word for those) more than anything else and that's what went on.ittarted with "Daniel from the lions den" opening his heart to me and telling me about himself. I heard a few testimonies and shared what might be mine. My life suddenly clicked. All these blessings I have been experiencing had been explained to me by me (or maybe by God:))
I have the willpower to go to work, to graduate this year, to apply to colleges, to save my money, to not worry about the little things, to have the wisdom to help others with their problems, to be able to gt ready in only ten minutes, to not let me eating disorder get to the best of me like it used to. And finally, to be able to express all this (hopefully clearly!)
I have decided I don't want boyfriends. I want love and that's all. I want someone who will devote his life to me, not his time. I don't care about hanging out- I'm much too busy for that (at least right now) I care about the big picture.. Is it too soon for all this? It doesn't matter because I don't need/want soon. My future is all I care about. All... and all you need is love. forever. in the long run. That's what matters NOW and THEN. I wish even I could understand myself but at the same time it really doesn't matter!
Ah the simplicity of carlessness.
I love my job at supercuts, I love talking to strangers and keeping busy. I love having purposed. I'm so excited to get acceptance/ rejection letters from colleges and having to make a choice of what to do next year. CA/Germany/AZ?! :D
If i wasn't excited all the time I would be nothing. Possibly even dead.
Anyway. Merry Christmas! Happy New Year! Listen to some good music and appreciate what you got. Peace
I don't care about making sense anymore. All anyone does is babble anyway right?
